In Sickness & in Health

Those are common words spoken in the exchange of Wedding Vows amongst couples "In Sickness & in Health".

Those exact words were not exchanged in the vows between Sean & I, but these were, written by Sean:

I Sean, take you Katie, to be my partner for life and my one true love.  I will love you my whole life without question or exception.  I will cherish and respect you when I am far and when I am near.  I will carry you when you need to be carried and I will set you down when you ask me to.  I will be yours in times of need and in time of plenty.  Your goals are now my goals, your dreams are my dreams, and your needs are my needs.  I will bring light to your life as you have erased the darkness from mine.  I ask that you be no other than yourself.  I promise to be your husband, not only in name but action.  I will never forget my vows to you and you will be a part of me always.

Sean is holding truth to all of these, especially

"I promise to be your husband, not only in name, but action"

On October 3rd I came down with the flu, nothing out of the ordinary, a bad case of the flu that I get every year during flu season sometimes even twice.  I went into the doctor b/c I was having trouble keeping my temperature under 103 degrees.  The Doctor told me I had a case of the "H1N1", sent me home with two medications (Tamiflu & Vikadin).  I came home & laid them on the counter, took two Motrin & ate a cup of yogurt.  I gagged with every bite of the yogurt, but was worried that my good bacteria in my belly was being depleted & fearful that the Motrin would further upset my stomach.  I had never taken Tamiflu before with any other flu & figured why would I need it for this one & had only ever taken Vikadin one other instance in my life at age 20 when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Not too mention, I will admit I have an enormous Phobia of taking Medication, I don't understand how anyone can't with ALL the commercials that state their side effects.   I remember vividly Sean calling me on "SKYPE" over the computer from Iraq & I told him I wasn't feeling well and have some flu called "H1N1" & was grateful I didn't have the nasty Swine Flu!  Sean Laughed and said "Sweetie, that is the Swine Flu".

I had this flu for a few days and started feeling better 3 days later, but on the 4th day I knew (as we all know our OWN bodies) that something was wrong other than the flu.  Extreme Muscle Fatigue had set in, Severe Vomiting, Chronic Mucus Diarrhea, my Respiratory Cough was settling deeper in my chest, Rashes on my Limbs, Lymph Nodes were popping up Swollen in various locations, Fatigue that doesn't subside with sleep, Nightly Night Sweats, Inflammation settled in my left Eye, Muscle Spasms abroad, loosing a grand total of 30 lbs in 6 weeks time, and the list goes on!

From diagnosis of the "Flu" to we suspect "Cancer" to some ( & when I say some, I really mean Most) of your family thinking you have lost your Mind & are Crazy! I under went a plethora of testing to the point that I felt like a guinea pig in a Science Lab.  I had an Endoscopy, Colonoscopy, Multiple MRI's & Cat Scans, Pet Scan, Spinal Tab, EMG, EKG, Ultra Sounds, Mammogram, enough Pelvic & Mummy Hole examinations that I'm now embarrassed to go to the Commissary, so much Blood Work that blood could no longer be taken from my hands or arms, all to turn out with No real Flashing Red Lights!!  My 3rd admission into the hospital and the longest of 8 days, myself & my Doctor were dedicated to testing until an answer was found.  Bless My Doctor towards the end, when I finally broke down in tears to him & told him, "Well, I guess I really must be Crazy, give me some Crazy pills"!!  He assured me I was not & that if he suspected such, he would not be dedicating his time to me & his team of Residents for that matter.  He is the Chief of Infectious Disease at the Hospital & a former Colonel in the Army.  I had enough of the testing, I behaved as watchful nurses stood over me 4 times a day to watch me swallow down numerous Antibiotics, Steroids, & Anti Inflammatory Meds, he agreed to discharge me knowing that my husband was on his way home from Iraq & gave me a 4 page typed packet of discharge paperwork titled "COMPLICATED, suspect Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if symptoms persist" & weekly follow up appointments.

My dear Friend Renee (the love from one military wife to another has it's own blog topic one day) stayed with me at my house yet again for another week until Sean returned.  I just knew that with a dose of my husband, I would feel better.  It was so comforting to have him back, but things actually got worse.  By the time evening would come my legs wouldn't even carry me to the bathroom & the night sweats became so intense that I would soak thru my pajamas.  Every single night, Sean would assist me to the bathroom, would set up a bed right next to me on the couch laying on the floor rather than the opposite couch so that he could still be close enough to touch me.  His arm was stretched uncomfortably out from floor to couch resting on my stomach & he would constantly tell me "Have I told you what a Beautiful Wife you are, how did I get so lucky, Thank You for Marrying Me"!

My thoughts of "WOW" he is thanking ME????  If I knew that talking wouldn't produce a gag reflex and vomit spewing all over him, I should be THANKING HIM!!!  Here he is, thousands of miles away from where he should be fulfilling his duty to his country (what he truly loves), laying on the floor next to his wife with a body foreign to what he is used to, shriveled breast that have taken on a new appearance of "crasins",  & incredibly foul odored substances expelling from both ends of my body.......He is thanking ME!!!!

Today, over 4 months later from the date of coming down with the flu, yesterday was the very 1st day that I did not have a bowel movement!!  The "Anus" really gets no RESPECT until you have something wrong with it & only those that have endured such pain can sympathize with what really happens to it with the kind of trauma that is imposed upon it from chronic diarrhea!!

So, Little by Little, Day by Day, my body is recovering from "Whatever" this is..........

&

I owe that to the Love & Support of my Wonderfully Amazing Husband Who believes & Encourages me Daily!

Thank you for Loving me Sean, in Sickness & in Health!